Current mood:	Amused
Current music:	Taking Back Sunday, Cute Without the E

Understanding
Title- Understanding
Pairing- Ville Valo/Bam Margera (Vam)
Rating- R
Originally Posted- November 5, 2005
Disclaimer- I don`t know the real people in this story. I don`t own anything besides the idea for this story. None of this happened in real life as far as I know. The lyrics used are "Understanding in a Car Crash" and were written and are owned by the band Thursday.
Summary- "I see my house on fire, I see everyone screaming and running, I hear sirens and my house is falling apart, but I don`t care. All I care about is being in your arms."



Dear Ville,

I`m sorry if what I have to say is going to hurt you, because the last thing I want to do is hurt you. Please, please don`t leave me when you read this. I`m sorry I feel the way I feel about you. I want us to stay friends more than anything. Maybe I should have told you this before I got so attached to you, but anyways, I love you. Like love love, like I want to kiss you and be with you forever. I think it might have been love at first sight when I saw you at that concert, but I didn`t know because I`d never really had feelings for men before. Looking back I think maybe I did, but I don`t know, and that`s not really the point. The point is that I love you. It took me awhile to figure it out, but I know now I do. At first I thought maybe it was admiration or something, but then I realized that it really is love. I wanted to tell you really badly but I figured you would hate me for being gay or something. Then Mige told me a few days ago that you had been with guys before, and that you were currently single, and I realized that even if you didn`t love me you probably wouldn`t freak out too much about my feelings. Well, I`m not going to write too much. I just want you to know that I love you with all my heart and that I`d do anything for you. I wish I could write this better, but all I can do is say that I love you over and over. If you don`t feel the same it`s ok, I understand. I hope it won`t affect our friendship.

Bam


I tap my pencil against the old mahogany desk, just staring at this letter. I re read it over and over, and every time I do it seems more and more stupid but more and more necessary at the same time. You have to know this. You just do. I need you to know that I love you, even though I doubt you feel the same. Why would you? You`re so beautiful and perfect, and I`m...not. Still, I want you to know how I feel.

I fold the letter up and write 'To Ville' on it in my messy hand writing, underlining it twice. I`ll leave it on your bed tomorrow when you get up for breakfast. You usually sleep in, especially the first week after a long tour with your band. I`ll just sneak into your room and leave it there and then go to the skate park for a few hours. That way you`ll have time to think about the letter, and if you want to find me you can just ask my friends and they`ll tell you where I am. They always do.

So I leave the letter on my desk, turn off the lights in the room, and fall onto my bed. Before I`ve even closed my eyes I know that it will be hard to get to sleep tonight. Then I remember that I`ve just left the letter lying out in the open, which isen`t a very good idea when you live in a house full of guys that will just walk into your room and go through your stuff whenever they want to, and I`d rather no one knew about this for now. If by some beautifully fucked up miracle you decide you want to be with me then I`ll tell everyone, but if you reject me then I don`t want anyone to know.


Splintered piece of glass falls in the seat and gets caught
These broken windows, open locks, reminders of the youth we lost
In trying so hard to look away from you
We followed white lines to the sunset
I crash my car everyday in the same way


I get up and grab the letter, stuffing it into the pocket of my gray Element sweatshirt. There. This way it`s safe. Safe, but it will haunt me just laying here so close to me. It`s forcing me now to think of how this will be the ultimate crash, but at the same time this will finally be off my chest. Everyday I torture myself with thoughts of us being together because you`re all over. Your Heartagram is on my clothing, your face is all over my house, and your name is on all our lips as my friends and family talk about you. Plus now, well, now you`re really in my house, lying in the guest room next door. Now I`m letting down my guard and throwing myself into my feelings for you, and it makes me wonder; when did I get like this? When did I become so hopelessly in love? I`ve never felt like this before. It`s scary. I`m worried you`ll think I`m scary, like I`m stalking you or something, and you`ll put a restraining order on me. It`s possible…

I yawn. I`m actually tired in an awake sort of way, but I really want to sleep because I`m sick of going over this and never finding a perfect solution. I need to rest and go through with my plan tomorrow. It`s the only thing I can do to keep myself sane.

Now I`m back in bed, my head on my pillows. I cover myself with a blanket, turning over on my side. I can see the moonlight shining in through the large, glass window in my room. It must be a full moon. It`s really bright, but it`s very comforting. It`s what I need right now.

My eyelids are getting heavier by the second now that the lights are off. I give in, closing them, and in just a second I`m fast asleep…


Someone`s shaking me. Eh, fuck off Dunn, it`s way too early, I can`t even see any sunlight, but I can hear something…something crackling...

Dunn`s yelling and shaking me violently and urgently. Something must be wrong. I can only catch bits and pieces of what he`s yelling, but it doesn`t sound good. I hear something about everyone being out of the house except us. something about a fire, and something about death.

The terror hits me when I smell smoke. It`s very hard to breathe. My eyes shoot open and I look at Dunn`s face. He looks scared, very scared. I`m confused but something tells me that we have to get out of here, and fast. I hear crackling and roaring outside the door, and every so often I hear a loud crack and a bang that shakes the house.

“Bam, the place is on fire! We have to get out of here!” Dunn yells, but his voice is muffled by the roars of, well, the fire. I guess the place is on fire…

I jump out of bed and run to the door, grabbing the handle. Almost immediately I cry out in pain. It`s hot, very hot. I think back to something they taught us in first grade or something, about what it means when a door handle being hot. I think it means that the fire is on the other side of the door. Which translates into, 'Bam, you and Dunn are screwed.'

“I have an idea!” Dunn yells. He swoops down on me, picking me up and moving over to the window. It takes me a second, but I know what he`s going to do, and I panic.

Dunn grabs me and throws me at the window. I scream. Somehow, the glass shatters and I`m free falling. Oh god, someone save the letter and let Ville know how I feel. Even if I die just let him know how I feel…

I`m still screaming, screaming louder than I`ve ever screamed before. The cold night air cuts into my skin, but I barley notice. I feel sharp stinging in my cheek and shoulder. I can`t see anything down below. My eyes are closed and the letter is pressed to my heart. Let him see it when they find my body. Let someone know who Ville is, please, please. He has to know; he has to!

I open my eyes, and I see…

You. You`re standing there with your arms wide open and you look so beautiful.

I fall into your arms. You catch me like this is natural, like you do this every day, like you`ve had this planned for weeks instead of seconds. I see my house on fire, I see everyone screaming and running, I hear sirens, and my house is falling apart, but I don`t care. All I care about is being in your arms. You look so scared. You pull me closer to you.

“Are you ok?” you ask, sounding concerned. I nodd, but I feel light headed and weak. Something wet is running into my mouth. I lick at my lips and they taste like blood, and my shoulder is wet.

You grab my arm, which I have around your neck, and brush it against my cheek to get the blood out of my mouth. It`s only then that I remember going through the window. The glass must have cut me. But it doesn`t matter. I`m in your arms.

“You`re bleeding, we need to get you to a doctor,” you say, and I can see the fear in your green eyes. You look so beautiful standing there in the light of the fire and the moon. Oh my god, I want to make you be ok. You`re scared, and I want you to be ok. I`m scared now. You`re making me scared.

“No, I`m fine,” I manage to mumble. I don`t know if you can hear me or not. Then you nodd. I think you know this. I think you know that I need you more than anything right now.

“Get away from the house!” someone yells, and you seem to snap back to some sort of reality. You start to run, pressing me tightly to you. I cling to you and I don`t ask where you`re going. I trust you.

You stop and turn and I can see that we`re farther away from the house. It`s dark and I see people running by us. The whole house is like a sea of flames. The smoke is rising upward, making everything look hazy. It`s such an amazing sight. I think for all of a second about all the things in there; clothing, skateboards, and all the things I`ve gotten from all the different places I`ve been. I barley care. Those things are replaceable. It`s all replaceable. But those green eyes looking down on me, protecting me? That`s what matters. That`s not replaceable.


Time to let this pass
(The time it takes, the time it takes to let go)
Time runs through our veins
(It starts and stops and starts and stops again)
We don't stand a chance in this threadbare time
(The time it takes, the time it takes to let go)
Time to let this pass
(The time it takes, the time it takes to let go)


Everything seems frozen in time. I stop noticing the fire, the screams, the confusion and panic. All I notice is you looking at me. Your eyes looking into mine. Our bodies pressed together. Nothing else matters. Not all my belongings in flame, not my cut cheek and shoulder. Nothing.

Somehow I almost feel stronger. I certainly feel less lightheaded. I still have the letter in my hands. I take my hands from around you neck and show you the letter. You look at it questioningly.

“You have to read this. Promise me that you will. It`s really important,” I say softly.

You watch me silently for a moment, then press me closer to you and grab the letter with your now free hand.

“I will Bammie. I will,” you promise, and you look around us and turn, beginning to walk. I cling to you. I`m so dependant on your protection.

You walk to an ambulance that`s parked on the grass and we`re immediately surrounded by doctors. One grabs me away from you and I struggle, ignoring the throbbing pain in my shoulder. I`m being carried away from you. You`re trying to push a doctor out of the way, but he won`t let you pass. I scream for you at the top of my lungs, crying out your name, but no one pays attention.

They carry me into the ambulance and start to remove my clothing, and I struggle the best I can. I see you moving closer to me, arguing with a doctor. Finally you push him out of the way and run to my side.

I shiver as I`m laid on a cold, metal table. Everyone is touching my shoulder, increasing the pain, but you`re here now, so it`s all ok. You grab my hand and run your fingers though my hair, telling me it`ll be ok and that you`re here for me.

“Ville, the letter. Don`t forget,” I say. I`m feeling dizzy again, but it`s not as bad as before.

“I`ll read it now then,” you say softly, taking your hand off my head. You unfold the letter and begin to read it. Oh god, please, please don`t hate me…


Staring at the setting sun
No reason to come back again
The twilight world in blue and white
The needle and the damage done

I dont want to feel this way forever
A dead letter marked return to sender


Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe I should just rip the letter out of your hands and tear it up into the smallest pieces possible and keep living this lie. Keep pretending that when I hug you that it`s just for fun. Keep pretending that when I do little things like rest my head on your shoulder or touch you in the smallest ways, such as your arm or shoulder, that it`s just the way I am. That it means nothing beyond friendship. I don`t think you think anything of it either. You never act like it`s strange for me to jump into your arms every so often. I think you think that it`s a joke, like everything with me seems to be. That`s the problem; no one takes me seriously. Mostly I don`t want them to, but right now I need you to.

Your eyes are scanning the letter. You suddenly look shocked. My heart jumps. I`m scared, very scared.

The doctors are touching me and cleaning my shoulder with something that stings, but I don`t care. That`s another world, and it`s not the one that I`m in right now. The one that I`m in is in the letter. I barley notice the doctors start to bandage my shoulder and then put my clothes back on.

You put down the letter and there`s tears in your eyes. I`m crying too, the tears running into the cut on my cheek, making it sting. I sniffle and bite my lip, looking up at you.

“Oh Bammie,” you say, gently bringing your hand down to stroke my cheek, the one that isen`t cut. I know that it`s wet to the touch from my tears, but you don`t seem to care.

“I`m sorry,” I say softly, hoping you won`t leave me, hoping you won`t say that you think we should stop hanging out or something. I`m so scared of losing you.

I`m fully clothed and my shoulder doesn`t hurt as much. Even if it did though, it wouldn`t matter.

“Bammie no, no, don`t be,” you say, and your voice is so loving and tender that I almost allow myself to believe there`s hope. But then I remember; that`s the way you are. You`re always affectionate, calling everyone sweetheart and always being so kind and loving. It doesn`t mean you really are in love with me.

“You`re so brave,” you continue, “I`ve always wanted to tell you I love you but I was scared, and here you are, coming out and telling me so easily,” you smile, bend down, and kiss my forehead.

“I love you Bam,” you say, smiling at me. There`s still tears in your eyes, but now I know them to be tears of happiness. I`m so overcome with joy and surprise that I can`t talk. I open my mouth to say something, but a doctor interrupts, telling me that I`m fine, I didn`t suffer any serious injuries, that my shoulder isen`t serious and doesn`t require stitches. He grabs my arm, sits me up, and cleans my cut. I wince. You grab my hand and squeeze it. I smile. A band-aid is put on my cheek, and I`m told that I can go. We walk out of the ambulance, hand in hand.

“Ville I love you,” I whisper in your ear. You smile, stop, and turn my body so that I`m facing you. Then you press your lips against mine gently, as if trying to get me used to this, as if you`re asking if this is ok. I kiss you back, and you deepen the kiss, our lips begging for each other`s. You taste so good. Your breath has that faint smell of vodka that I`ve noticed before the few times that we`ve fallen asleep next to each other and I`d lie inches from your mouth. Your lips are smooth and perfect and I know this is the best kiss ever. I moan softly and you pull away smiling.

“Can we do that everyday for forever?” I ask, gasping for breath. You nodd, and we keep walking.


Broken watch you gave me turns into compass
It's two hands still point to the same time 12:03
Our last goodbye
So push the seats back a little further
I can see the headlights coming
So push the seats back a little further
Roll the windows down and take a breath
I can see the headlights coming
They paint the world in red and broken glass


My house isen`t on fire anymore. I see a fire truck and a bunch of men with hoses standing around talking to each other, and I assume that they put out the fire. My house looks horrible. Its foundation has mostly fallen apart. There`s glass everywhere as well as ashes. I look closer at it, squinting and looking for bodies, but I don`t see any, and I hope that everyone`s all right. I see Ape and Phil standing off to the side, and I see a bunch of my friends, and I see Dunn. I guess he jumped out the window after he threw me.

“I`m sorry Bam, it`s horrible, I know,” you say, wrapping your arm around my shoulder and pulling me close. I nodd, resting my head on your shoulder the way you always do whenever you`re tired or lonely.

“It`s ok. Maybe it hasn`t really hit me yet. It`s hard to explain, but I`m not as upset as you probably expect me to be,” I say. This is nice. Your neck is warm on my cheek.

“I was so scared Bammie; you have no idea. I heard that the place was on fire so I jumped out of bed and ran out because I figured you that you were outside already, but when I got out I was among the first people out, and I was so scared. I tried to run back in but I couldn`t get up the stairs so I just stood there screaming until Raab pulled me of the house, but by then it was falling apart and there wasn`t a way to get in, so I went and stood by your window and screamed your name. Then I saw you go through the window, and it was like I saw it in slow motion, and when I caught you in my arms I was the happiest man in the world,” you say, kissing the top of my head. I stand up straight and we stop. I look into your eyes and smile. You`re so beautiful. Everything else is so ugly and fallen apart, but you`re beautiful. I swear nothing else matters now.


Time to let this pass
(The time it takes, the time it takes to let go)
Time runs through our veins
(It starts and stops and starts and stops again)
We don't stand a chance in this threadbare time
(The time it takes, the time it takes to let go)
Time to let this pass
(The time it takes, the time it takes to let go


Once again time is frozen and I only see your smile and your eyes, which are full of something that I`m hoping is love. I press myself against you and kiss your lips. You wrap your arms around me and kiss me back. I love the feeling of our bodies together.

I see people standing near us but I ignore them. I`m so busy with your lips. They`re more addicting than the cigarettes you smoke, which I can smell faintly in your breathe. Besides the vodka and cigarettes, I smell something that reminds me of winter when you curl up in bed with someone you care about with the lights off but the room is still lit by the gentle glow of the snow outside.

I press my tongue against your lips. You moan and allow my tongue to enter your mouth. It tastes like…you. It`s hard to explain but it`s a mix of all these tastes that you`re made up of, and it`s the best taste in the world.

We finally have to pull apart to breathe, and it`s only then that I notice all the people standing around us. I see April and Phil standing to our left, and Dunn, Raab, and Rake to our right. I look at their faces, and they`re smiling. Rake and Raab`s smiles look a bit awkward, but they`re still there.

April comes over and hugs me, kissing my cheek.

“I was so worried about you, are you ok?” she asks, sounding motherly and concerned. I nodd. She smiles and starts to fuss over Raab, who apparently is limping. Phil smiles at me and walks off to talk to Vito, who for once seems to be stunned into silence. My friends smile and walk off, leaving us alone.

“Where are we going to sleep tonight?” I ask. You smile and kiss me.

“A hotel,” you answer. I smile back. You grab my hand and start to walk, pulling me along.

We start going up to everyone and telling them to get into cars because we`re going to a hotel.

Fortunately all our cars are ok, so we all climb into them. We end up in the back of my Hummer with Dunn driving it. We pull out of the driveway and I wonder if I`ll ever come back here again. I think of how I could have lost you in the fire and I shudder. I`m so glad that you`re safe.


Staring at the setting sun
No reason to come back again
The twilight world in blue and white
The needle and the damage done

I dont want to feel this way forever
A dead letter marked return to sender


I`m in your arms again, safe and sound. You have me pressed against you, holding me tightly as if you`ve waited forever for this. Maybe you have. I know I have. You`ve held me before, but not like this. Mostly it was because of a skateboarding injury that I faked getting so you`d feel sorry for me and hold me. Still, now you have me pressed tighter to you than ever before, like you`re scared that I`ll leave, even though I`m about as likely to leave as I am to cut off my own hand.

I bury my head in your chest and inhale deeply. Your clothes smell like smoke. You have on a black Heartagram shirt with tight black pants. I suddenly remember something and I feel guilty; all your stuff was in my house, and it`s all gone now. That includes your precious Iggy Pop jacket, all your note books of lyrics, your guitar…

“Ville I`ll sorry that all your stuff is gone,” I say softly, moving my body so that I`m sitting next to you. I wince. My shoulder is stinging. You lean over and kiss my cheek, the one that isen`t cut.

“It doesn`t matter as long as you`re safe,” you say, smiling.

We keep driving and driving. I`m starting to wonder if Dunn has any idea where we`re going. It`s just the three of us. Everyone else decided to take the other cars. It`s better this way. Dunn`s quiet. I don`t know if it`s because of us kissing earlier or if it`s just because of the fire but either way the silence is nice.

I rest my head on your shoulder and look out the window, and you start to run your fingers through my hair. It`s pitch black outside except for the stream of light in front of us from the headlights. The streets are deserted. I read the clock radio on the dashboard to see that it`s four in the morning. Surprisingly, this is nice. Even though I don`t have a home anymore, even though all my stuff`s gone, just riding silently in the car at four in the morning with you is perfect. Tomorrow I`ll probably be depressed about losing my house, but for now it`s all ok. Especially with the warmth of the car heater and your body heat.

“Ville?” I ask softly.

“What is it Bammie?” you respond.

“I love you,” I say. Dunn doesn`t say anything. He just keeps his eyes on the road, but I swear that I can see him smiling in the car miror.

“I love you too,” you say, kissing the top of my head. I close my eyes and allow you to keep touching me.

Time is going by silently like this. For once I`m appreciating the peaceful environment that we seem to be in. We were on a highway, but now we`re on an off ramp and off in the distance I see a hotel sign. I figure that we`re stopping there.

Little raindrops are falling on the windshield now, but you can barley tell that it`s raining. Still, Dunn puts on the windshield wipers and I hear the gentle swishing noise they make as they slid back and forth on the windshield. It`s peaceful. I almost never drive silently like this. Usually there`s people screaming and loud music playing in the car.

Dunn drives down a busy street loaded with cars and turns into the hotel parking lot. It`s bright over here because of all the streetlights and car lights. The hotel is lit too. Dunn parks and turns to look at us. By now the rain is falling harder and you can hear it falling on the car roof. It makes a banging noise as it hits the car. It`s times like these when I realize why you love the rain so much. It`s so peaceful and violent at the same time.

“I figured we`d stay here for the night. April said that it`s a nice hotel and it was pretty close by,” Dunn says. I nodd and smile. Dunn opens the door and steps out. The rain sounds louder and more violent outside of the car. I open the door and grab your hand, and we get out, shutting the door behind us.

As soon as I`m out of the car I`m soaked. The rain is pouring so heavily that I can`t even hear what Dunn`s saying. I just hear the rain`s roar. I lower my head to avoid getting water in my eyes, and we all start to run to the entrance of the hotel. I grab onto your arm and pull you behind me. It`s cold and wet out, and I just want to be in a hotel room with you, warm and dry.

We enter the hotel and are greeted by a rush of warm air. I shiver and look at you. You`re soaking wet. You brush the water off your bare arms with your hand, and we follow Dunn to the main desk where a grumpy looking hotel employee sits.

Dunn deals with booking the rooms and tells us that the others will be here in a little bit. He tells the hotel employee to tell them that Bam, Dunn, and Ville are here. Then he turns to ask if you and I want to share a room. I turn my head to look at you. You nodd, and I smile.

Dunn gives us hotel keys and we turn to go to our rooms on the first floor. Dunn`s booked smoking rooms, which I know makes you happy.

As soon as we enter the hallway I can smell the smoke. It`s dimly lit and silent. Dunn finds his room and we all say goodnight to each other. Then we find our room and you open it, smiling and gesturing for me to enter first.

It`s an average hotel room from what I can see, which isen`t much because the lights are all off and the room`s dark. There`s a large patio door across the room. I can see raindrops on it even from over here. The rain is pounding against it. It`s overpoweringly loud. I hear a loud clap of thunder and then a brilliant flash of lightning that lights up the whole room. I can make out a bed and a bedside table before it all goes dark again.

I start to try to feel for a light switch but you seem to have other plans. You grab my arm and pull me deeper into the room until we get to the bed. Then you push me down onto it and lay on top of me.


The spinning hubcaps set the tempo for the music of a broken window
With the cameras on the cameras click
We open up the lens and can't stop

Staring at the setting sun
No reason to come back again
The twilight world in blue and white
The needle and the damage done
I dont want to feel this way forever


You`re on top of me, pinning me down to the bed. Our lips crash against each other`s as we hungerly beg for each other. I moan loudly but it`s hard to hear over the rain and thunder. There`s another flash of lightning and you gasp and moan loudly into my ear. We pull apart and you gaze at me for a moment. I can just make out your face. It`s so beautiful. I love you so much.

“I want to show you how much I love you,” you whisper into my ear. I`m scared to say yes, but then I think back to all the fear I had to overcome to get you to know how I feel for you, how much I love you. I`m not turning back now. Now I want you to claim me as yours.

You press your lips against mine again and I moan out that I love you. You pull away and smile and I smile back awkwardly. There`s another crash of thunder, which drowns out the moan I let out when you start to pull my Element sweatshirt off. I move my arms above my head and you slip it over my head easily. I pull off your t-shirt timidly but once it`s around your neck you pull it over your head yourself and throw it onto the floor.

You kiss my neck, sucking and nibbling on it gently. I moan louder still as your lips go down and plant kisses on my chest. You keep sucking at the skin whenever possible. I`ve never been touched like this before. I moan and writh under you.

You move to straddle my waist, still kissing me. Your hands start rubbing my sides and every so often you let your finger nails make gentle trails down on my sides and lower chest. I shiver when you do this and wrap my arms around you. Your skin feels so smooth and warm to the touch. You moan and sit up. I allow my arms to move back to my sides.

Your hands are at my waist now, unbuttoning my jeans. You pull on the zipper, working it back and forth until you get it down. Then you pull off my jeans and boxers and remove my socks.

When I`m naked you don`t look at me at me, but instead you start tugging at your skintight pants, working them slowly off of your body. I feel a sudden crashing wave of lust and passion go through my body, leaving me dizzy for a moment. Your pants are off and you`re fully naked. You press our bodies together again and attack my lips, moaning and pressing our cocks together. I gasp and shiver. You pull away from the kiss and move your hands down to my waist. You allow your fingernails to make more trails only inches above my cock. I shiver more violently than before and cry out in pleasure. I can feel myself getting hard. Lower...please go lower...

Suddenly you grab my cock and stroke it gently. I arch my back upward. You smile and move back up to my lips. There`s another flash of lightning and I look into your eyes. There`s so much lust in them that it makes my heart pound harder and my head throb.

You gently kiss my shoulder and then my cheek. It`s only then that I remember the bandages on my other shoulder, the one that you didn`t kiss.

You sit up straight again and look me over. I look up at you. Your whole body is perfect, just as I always knew it would be. Even though it`s dark I can still see your beauty, especially since my eyes are used to the dark by now.

You grab my legs and lift them up. I see you bring your finger to your mouth and suck on it. Then you bring your finger back to my legs and rub the outside of my opening. I moan your name loudly.

You slip your finger into me. I gasp.

“Oh shit Ville!” I yell. This feels so good. I can`t even explain it. I never though just having your finger in me would feel so good but it does. You leave it in for a moment and pull it out, going up to my lips.

“Bammie I don`t have any lube,” you say.

“I don`t care just take me already,” I answer. You shake your head.

“It`s gonna hurt,” you say.

“Ville please?” I beg. You sigh.

“Fine, but tell me if it hurts,” you answer, sounding worried.

You suck on your fingers again and bring them back to my opening. I moan. Once I`m soaked with your saliva you start to cover yourself with it. Watching you touch yourself is a turn on for me. You smile as you see me watching you intently. You start to stroke yourself harder, making throaty growls and yelps. I can`t help but laugh.

Then you get bored and position yourself on top of me. I lift my legs up and wrap them around your lower back. I feel your cock pressed against my opening. I tense up. I`m still nervous. I`ve heard that this can hurt, and you certainly seemed concerned...

There`s a crash of thunder so violent that I swear it shakes the whole hotel. It`s followed by lightning that lights up the room completely. The rain is still falling down and it sounds like a million people marching loudly outside.

You kiss me gently.

“Bam you have to relax or it`s going to hurt more,” you say. I kiss you back and try to become completely relaxed. You smile.

“That`s better angel,” you say lovingly.

I feel you start to enter me and I gasp and then howl out in pain. It feels like I`m being ripped in two. I bite my lip and try to relax, but it`s hard. You look scared, but you keep pushing in. You seem to have some trouble with sliding into me. You`ll go little by little and then all the sudden push an inch of you in. I guess it`s because salivia isen`t a very good lube to use for this.

The pain is horrible, but I try to ignore it. You`re in all the way now. It feels weird. It hurts like hell, but feels nice at the same time.

Now the pain is dying down. My stomach feels a little fluttery, but it`s getting better too. Now it feels great, perfect. You feel so big inside me.

“Are you ready?” you ask me.

“Yes!” I cry out louder than I planned to. You smile.


When the lights are on the cameras click
We open up the lens to broken glass
(And it's over in a flash)

Staring at the setting sun
No reason to come back again
The twilight world in blue and white
The needle and the damage done

I don't want to feel this way forever
A dead letter marked return to sender

I'll never understand, understanding in a car crash)

In a crash!


You pull yourself out and gently push back in. It feels weird but good. You do this again and again, going a bit faster and harder each time. I start to moan continuously. It feels so good.

By now you have a steady rhythm. In and out, in and out. You`re going fast and hard and it feels better than anything I`ve ever done before.

“Ville!” I yell as you hit my spot, sending a wave of pleasure through my body. You seem to know what you`ve done. You keep hitting my spot again and again with almost every thrust until I come all over your chest. You moan loudly and a few seconds later I feel you release inside me. It feels warm and wet and good. I moan.

I`m panting and gasping for breath. I think you are too from the way your mouth is hanging open, but I can`t hear it over the storm outside.

You pull out of me and now it feels weird to not have you in me. I unwrap my legs from your waist and you reach up and kiss me.

“Did that feel good, Bammie?” you whisper in my ear.

“It felt perfect. I love you,” I answer.

“I love you too,” you say, laying down on your side next to me. I turn to face you and we wrap our arms around each other. I feel wet and sticky inside, and so does your chest as you press yourself against me, but I don`t care. We kiss again and then we close our eyes. After awhile I can tell that you’re asleep. I watch you for a moment. You look so peaceful. I close my eyes too. The storm outside seems to finally be dying down. The rain isen`t coming down as heavily, and the thunder sounds farther off. My night keeps flashing in front of my eyes. I wrap my arms tighter around you and fall asleep.


I wake up to someone holding me and a gentle breath on my neck. I open my eyes, blink, and yawn. You`re still laying next to me. My waist and legs feel wet. I see a washcloth lying on the pillow. I guess you cleaned me up.

“Morning love,” you say. I move closer to you and kiss your neck. You kiss me back. I notice that you have your old clothes on again.

The hotel room is flooded with sunlight. It looks like an average hotel room, nothing special, except, of course, that you`re in it, which makes it special.

You grab my hand, get up, and start to drag me over to the balcony door. I move away from you.

“Ville, I`m still naked!” I protest. You smile and grab my clothes from off the floor. I blush as you look over my naked body.

I turn away and throw on the clothes. I realize that I probably look like shit right now, but you don`t say anything about it. Instead you grab my arm and drag me over to the balcony.

We stand outside on it. I put my hand on the railing, but it`s wet and cold. It`s pretty cold out.

“Isen`t it a great day?” you ask happily, standing behind me and wrapping your arms around me. I smile. Your idea of a great day is kind of amusing.

“Actually, I thought maybe we could go shopping for clothing and stuff today,” you say.

“Sounds good. I`ll write a note and stick it to the door so everyone knows we went shopping. You know, they`re all going to be bugging me today,” I say. You nodd.

We enter the room again and I go to the bedside table where there`s a bunch of post its with the hotel name on them and a pen. I start to write the note;


Stupid fuckers,

Ville and I went shopping. If you need us then you`re out of luck. We`ll be back later.

Bam


I go to stick the note to the door and we walk down the hallway hand in hand. I wonder where the letter I wrote you is now. I know that wherever it is it`s safe. More importantly, I love you. From now on you`ll always be my Willa Walo, and I`ll always be your Bammie.